Moments of gratitude

     Long post--- just so you know!

    fgYou know how there's those people that believe they see angels? There's also those that believe they are guided by spirits to do things that have miraculously saved their lives? I know there are a lot of stories out there about God and his ways of giving people prompts to do the things they should, or to bring them back into the church. 

    A few months ago, I found out that a family member of mine was slowly slipping away from the church. It truly is heart breaking to know that they know the knowledge they have, and yet the question it. It's a fearful feeling to not be able to understand where they are coming from, and you honestly just want to smack them upside the head and scream at the top of your lungs "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"  but... after long thoughts, discouraging moments in my own life, I then started to think about the church as well. 

• Is it really true?
• How do we know that we aren't going to get to heaven and it was all misleading?
• How do we know that there was a previous life before us?
• What is this faith that everyone keeps telling me to have?
• Am I just blowing money (tithing) for an organization that I don't understand completely? 

     You know, some people would think that I'm completely crazy for even questioning my religion, and some would say it's normal. Those that don't believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, could easily tell me that it's not true and that everything that I have been taught my whole life has been a complete lie.  So how do you figure it out? How do understand how this whole thing works? Well of course, first things first, primary answers : Read your Scriptures, Say your prayers, family home evening and Go to church. Yes, that's all easier said than done. Life happens, and sometimes it gets carried away on it's own. 

    As we finished up the day at my brother in laws wedding luncheon, my husband and I started to discuss what we were going to do in Salt Lake before and after the actual reception. We decided that we would take the boys swimming, maybe do a little train ride, and end up at the Temple Square in down town Salt Lake.  That night I packed our bags, and we left early the next morning. Arriving at our hotel, we went to dinner with family and did a little shopping before setting up for the reception. 

     The reception went great! The bride, my now sister in law, looked beautiful and my husband and I danced the night away, along with a few cut ins from my boys. We ended the night with a little cake, said our congrats and headed back to the room. The next morning we enjoyed breakfast with our family and we all went our separate ways. That's when we headed downtown. Okay- coming from the country, can I just say that that traffic was horrible. seriously, It's a good thing I don't live there! Okay-venting session over. 

    As we got frustrated with the parking, we finally found a spot underground. We made our way to the trains that go through town and Coy absolutely loved it, he bawled when we left! Finally, our destination had arrived! I think I was more excited than Colby was! We went to the South Visitors Center first, where we were greeted by many (when I say many I mean A LOT) of sister missionaries. I'm pretty sure every country had made their way to this building while we were there.  After the south visitors center, we decided to go to the North. You know, the one with the huge statue of Jesus and the really cool atmosphere surrounding it. 

    As we were walking up the ramp, Coy was running ( I know I know, who does that) up the ramp and stood at the midst of Jesus. He pointed up to the statue and smiled, he then turned around and said "That's a BIG GUY!" Colby then said," Do you know who that is" and Coy being the three he is doesn't say anything and continues to play. Just then, with out a doubt in his little mind, Hayes turns around, Looks up a the statue and says, "Jesus." Clear as day. Hayes is now 1 years old and jabbers. He doesn't understand what he is saying, and most of the time neither do we.But with out a doubt, he knew exactly what he was saying as we was pointing up to the man. I have never heard this name come so clear from a child that doesn't even know how to speak. It was that feeling of enjoyment, gratitude, and honestly, a little bit of sadness. I was excited I was happy, I was tearful. All I could think to do was hug my little man, and then text my family and tell them our amazing story! 

   

     Your probably wondering why I said sadness huh? I guess a little part of me just couldn't express the gratitude enough for this amazing little spirit to be mine. I wanted to scream for joy, yet it almost broke my heart to know that I brought down this little soul that has to go through hurt and happiness, laughter and sorrow and most of all, the cruelty and joys of the world.

    After such an amazing experience, I couldn't help but get down on my knees that night and thank our Heavenly Father for the great moments he has put into my life. As far as the questions go, here are my answer that I feel are most adequate to answer the questions with. 

Is it true? Without a doubt. Not only I, but many have had experiences even greater than what I experienced. If it wasn't true, than how did my baby know his name, and how is it that you are completely surrounded by the spirit when you are on the temple grounds?

How do we know that when we get to heaven it isn't going to be just a big misguidance? Well, I believe that if it were to be a misguidance, than why do so many people have these moments? Why are we doing temple work for those who have passed before us that haven't had their work done? Also, why would families be forever?

How do we know there was a previous life? I don't even ask this any more. My baby gave me a marvelous experience to know that there is a previous life. 

What is this faith that everyone keeps telling me to have? and am I just blowing money? Well, according to a very well known primary song "Faith is like a little seed, if planted it will grow" I guess maybe addressing this, I have realized that I have had faith for many things since I have paid tithing. Everything just works out so well. Yes, certain days are hard, but it could be worse. Everything just seems to keep working out for us, even if we don't see it, or understand something.

If you have struggles or you are wondering stay strong. Things all work out like they are planned, and with out a doubt, I believe it.