Motherhood

You know, realizing that you have become a mom can come to you at any moment, When those stretch marks wont go away because of weight gained by pregnancy, or when you hold your new born for the first time. Well mine hit me a little later than realizing either of these.

Last Tuesday I was in the kitchen when I could hear Coy in his room jabbering. So I walked a little closer to his room and I listened to him say. "1 2 3 ma love me." and then he looked up and smiled at me and said. "love you"  and then he fallowed with the "dont, no. kiyla!"  So I gave him a cheesy smirk and said, " I love you bug." and walked back to the kitchen to finish dishes. Colby came inside and said," honey we need to fix my truck. I need such and such amount of money".. uh.. Really??? Didnt we just spend x amount of money on it last month how can we afford it again? Then, I get a call about a past due bill, as Coy comes running in saying... eat eat, as hes pounding on the fridge door. It was like a circus in my house all at once! Soon realizing that this is life, I just smiled, and told the person on the phone I would put the check in the mail, told Colby to buy what he needed and got coy a hot dog out of the fridge. Later that day, I was alone because Colby took Coy to go feed cows and I just felt like I needed to give my Heavenly Father a thanks. So I went in my room, knelt next to the bed and said a little prayer of thanks. Thanks for my family even though we get crazy at times. Thanks for the love that we share, and the home we have, and everything else in between. jobs..etc etc. 

     By the time the boys got back from doing chores it was about 6:30 so I decided I should probably get dinner going. As I was making dinner I was listening to Colby read  a Colors Book to Coy and Coy was repeating just about all the color words, ( though im sure he has no clue what they are) then he looks at me and says "love you".. It melted my heart. "I love you bug" and he squirmed out of dads arms, came running to me and said... " Here I come!" so I pretended to scream and ran to the living room and fell to the floor where Coy tackled me and said "got you!"... and I just said.. "yes you did!"

I never really realized what I have had all along... but becoming a mother has been the best gift I could have ever gotten. Noone understands love until a part of you is there in front of you, with muddy fingers, or a jelly face, or even a just a happy little smile. This little boy has been the highlight of my life, through tears of sorrow, happiness and frustration. Every time he looks at me and says.. love you  and smiles that little grin he has.. It just makes me fall to my knees and thank my Heavenly Father for the most wonderful gift!